The Best
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Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of our skating rinks.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions, while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Do you know? Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever
see the headline Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on the "Start" button? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why isn't there
mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? You know that
indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't sheep
shrink when it rains? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? (What a silly question!) If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
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4.
Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries,
and a Diet Coke.
6. Only in America......do we
leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless
junk in the garage.
Why
is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
