Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an
2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of our skating rinks.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions, while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a Diet Coke.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Do you know?
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever
see the headline
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on the "Start" button?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
You know that
indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? (What a silly question!)
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Some days you may find it easy to smile. You wake up to the warm sun on your face and the sounds of birds chirping.
What makes you laugh?There are so many things that can make you laugh- a good clean joke, little babies, animals, and human mishaps.
It is amazing how a good joke can make your day. Laughter is a great stress reliever and can turn your mood around instantly.
They say " laughter is the best medicine" do you believe that to be true?
I wish I laughed more, maybe my hair wouldn't be so gray if I did. Sometimes do you laugh so hard you cry?
Do you ever get that, the more you laugh the harder it is to stop laughing? Just looking at something funny can start the whole process all over again.
The Best Clean Jokes at
Dang Good Jokes Home
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