The Best In Good Clean Jokes
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Clean Jokes

Set 'EM up

A drunk walks into a bar
and says to the bartender
(with a drunken slur),
"Bartender,
buy everyone in the house a drink,
pour yourself one, and give me the bill."

So, the bartender does just that
and hands the man a bill for $57.00.
The drunk says, "I haven't got it."

The bartender slaps the guy around
a few times
then throws him out into the street.

The very next day
the same drunk walks into the bar
and once again says
 (with a drunken slur),
"Bartender,
buy everyone in the house a drink,
pour yourself one, and give me the bill."

The bartender looks at the guy and figures to himself that he can't possibly be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice,
so he gives him the benefit of the doubt,
pours a round of drinks for the house,
has a drink himself and hands
the drunk a bill for $67.00.
The drunk says, "I haven't got it."

The bartender can't believe it.
He picks the guy up,
beats the living daylights out of him,
then throws him out into the street.

The next day the same drunk
walks back into the same bar
and says (with a drunken slur),
"Bartender,
buy everyone in the house a drink,
give me the bill."

In disgust, the bartender says,
"What, no drink for me this time?"

The drunk replies, "you!!??
No Way!
You get too violent when you drink.

Some days you may find it easy to smile. You wake up to the warm sun on your face and the sounds of birds chirping. You smell the first hint of freshly brewed coffee and taking several deep cleansing breaths, you are now ready to start your day. What makes you laugh? There are so many things that can make you laugh- a good clean joke, little babies, animals, and human mishaps. It is amazing how a good joke can make your day. Laughter is a great stress reliever and can turn your mood around instantly. They say " laughter is the best medicine" do you believe that to be true? I wish I laughed more, maybe my hair wouldn't be so gray if I did. Sometimes do you laugh so hard you cry? Do you ever get that, the more you laugh the harder it is to stop laughing? Just looking at something funny can start the whole process all over again.
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