The New Living Will Form

I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body,         do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under        no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead     politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended     on it. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for: ( please initial all that apply ) _________ a pizza _________ a beer _________ a steak _________ a kiss _________ coffee or a latte _________ the remote control _________ a bowl of ice cream _________ chocolate _________ cookies _________ sex It should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day. Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that   these boneheads mind their own sweet business, and pay attention     instead to the future of the millions of Americans        who aren't in a permanent coma.              Signature:___________________ Witness: _____________________

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