It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.

I don't jog, it makes the ice jump
right out of my glass!

I like long walks, especially when
they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have flabby thighs,
but fortunately
my stomach covers them.

The advantage of

exercising every day

is that you die

healthier.

The only reason
I would take up
jogging is so I could hear
heavy breathing again.

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Wipe Out