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REALLY

 

 

 

 

 

 

HONEST

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'M

TELLING

THE

TRUTH

These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters. How did they keep from laughing while these were all taking place?


  _________________________________
 
 Judge: "Well, Sir, I have reviewed this case and I've decided to give  your wife $775.00 a week."
 Husband: "That's fair, your honor. I'll try  to send her a few bucks myself." _________________________________
 
 Q:
What is your date of birth?
  A: July fifteenth.
  Q: What year?
  A: Every year.
  _________________________________
  Q: What gear were you in at moment of the impact?
  A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
   _________________________________

  Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
  A: After the accident?
  Q: Before the accident.
  A: Sure, I played for 10 years. I even went to school for it.
  _________________________________
 
 Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
 A: Yes.
  Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
  A: Yes, sir.
  Q: What did she say?
  A: What disco am I at?
  _________________________________
 
 Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,  he doesn't know about it until the next morning? 

  _________________________________
 
  Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
  _________________________________
 
  Q: She had three children, right?
  A: Yes.
  Q: How many were boys?
  A: None.
  Q: Were there any girls?
  _________________________________
 
 Q: You said the stairs went down to the basement?
  A: Yes.
  Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
  _________________________________
 
 Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
  A: By death.
  Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
  _________________________________
 
 Q: Can you describe the individual?
  A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
  Q: Was this a male or a female?
  _________________________________
 
 Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition that I sent to our attorney?
  A: No, this is how I usually dress for work.
  _________________________________
 
 Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
 A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
_________________________________
 
  Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for pulse?
  A: No.
  Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
  A: No.
  Q: Did you check for breathing?
  A: No.
  Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
 A: No.
  Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
  A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
  Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
  A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
 


 




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Some days you may find it easy to smile. You wake up to the warm sun on your face and the sounds of birds chirping.
You smell the first hint of freshly brewed coffee and taking several deep cleansing breaths, you are now ready to start your day.

What makes you laugh?

There are so many things that can make you laugh- a good clean joke, little babies, animals, and human mishaps.
It is amazing how a good joke can make your day. Laughter is a great stress reliever and can turn your mood around instantly.
They say " laughter is the best medicine" do you believe that to be true?
I wish I laughed more, maybe my hair wouldn't be so gray if I did. Sometimes do you laugh so hard you cry?
Do you ever get that, the more you laugh the harder it is to stop laughing? Just looking at something funny can start the whole process all over again.
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