Dang Good Clean Jokes

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Dang Good Clean Jokes


Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.
To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard
and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home.
You want it, you take it."
For three days the fridge sat there without even one
person looking twice at it.
He eventually decided that people were too untrusting of
this deal.
It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to
"Fridge for sale $50."
The next day someone stole it. Caution...
*They Walk Among Us and They Vote! *

One day I was walking down the beach with
some friends when someone shouted....
"Look at that dead bird!"
Someone looked up at the sky and said...
*They Walk among us and they Vote!!*

While looking at a house, my brother asked the
real estate agent which direction was north because,
he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every
She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"
When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east,
and has for sometime.
She shook her head and said,
"Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."

*They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!*

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center.
One day I got a call from an individual who asked
what hours the call center was open. I told him,
"The number you dialed is open
24 hours a day, 7 days a week."
He responded,
"Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"
Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific" .
*They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!!*

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in the cafeteria,
when we overheard one of the administrative assistants
talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to
the shore.
She drove down in a convertible, but
"didn't think she'd get sunburned because
the car was moving".

*They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!!!*

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets
She keeps it in the trunk...
*They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!!!!*

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed
that the cases were discounted 10%.
Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases.
The cashier multiplied 2 times 10%
and gave us a 20% discount on both....
*They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!!!!!*

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area.
So I went to the lost luggage office and told the
woman there that my bags never showed up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because she was
a trained professional and I was in good hands.
"Now," she asked me,
"Has your plane arrived yet?"...

*They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!!!!!!!*

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man
ordering a small pizza to go.
He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him
if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6.
He thought about it for some time before responding.
"Just cut it into 4 pieces;
I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.

THEY Walk Among Us, and,
Dear Me, They Vote too !!!!!!!!*


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Some days you may find it easy to smile. You wake up to the warm sun on your face and the sounds of birds chirping.
You smell the first hint of freshly brewed coffee and taking several deep cleansing breaths, you are now ready to start your day.

What makes you laugh?

There are so many things that can make you laugh- a good clean joke, little babies, animals, and human mishaps.
It is amazing how a good joke can make your day. Laughter is a great stress reliever and can turn your mood around instantly.
They say " laughter is the best medicine" do you believe that to be true?
I wish I laughed more, maybe my hair wouldn't be so gray if I did. Sometimes do you laugh so hard you cry?
Do you ever get that, the more you laugh the harder it is to stop laughing? Just looking at something funny can start the whole process all over again.
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